Here I am!
I’m back, after a few days of silence. The last few days have been busy ones!
So, just a quick update on the teeth front. We went on Friday, River let them take 2 x-rays (with no tears or crying!). The x-rays showed NO decay or abscess. ???? Before we got the x-rays, the dentist said it did indeed look like an abscess. So, for now, we are just waiting and watching it. He of course wanted me to give him a round of antibiotics, but I told him that I would prefer to use them only if a true infection develops. River has never had antibiotics before, and I honestly want to reserve their use for serious conditions….not ‘just in case’. But, I am thrilled that he still has that tooth in his mouth, and it looks like it is fine. We will go back next month for another check on it.
Parenting has been challenging lately. I admit that the thought of earplugs is very appealing. 
River is constantly either crying or demanding or yelling (or talking). I don’t mind the talking, but all the rest really get on my nerves. I think that most people who meet River can’t imagine him screaming and crying all the time (in anger). lol! He is rather subdued and on the shy side in public. But, not at home! I know we will get through it. I know that my attitude towards him affects it a lot, too. When I am having a high-stressed day, I don’t have as much patience with him, and his behaviors that day really reflect that.
Tomorrow, we meet with Walter’s immigration attorney. His citizenship appointment is less than one month away! I am trying not to think about it too much, because I don’t want to think about the possibility that he could be denied. I have no idea what we would do, but life would go on. Probably in Peru, but it would go on. lol!
Strength
Tomorrow, I get to bring River to the dentist, so that he can have an abscessed tooth pulled. I thought we were all done with this chapter of his youth.
One of his baby molar’s which has a stainless steel cap (he has a total of 4 caps) has become infected. Yesterday, I noticed that there was a nasty red blister on the gum directly above his tooth. I have been watching his gums, to make sure everything looked healthy. So, I know it only recently developed. He cries and cries when I touch even the surrounding area. I have noticed today that he only puts food on the opposite side of his mouth. My sweet little boy.
It will be a quick procedure. That is the only thing that brings me comfort in regards to tomorrow. I am not looking forward to the tears. I am very anxious for tomorrow evening to come, because all of this will be behind us.
All night, he has been asking if he is going to the dentist, saying he never wants to go to the dentist again, “not ever!”. I don’t want to lie to him so have been trying to talk to him about why we need to go, but that just results in crying marathons. Oh, why is this so hard? I feel strongly that he will understand when he is older, but it is still hard to see in his eyes a look that says, ‘help me!”.
I am going to have to pull up enough strength to be calm tomorrow. I know that having me in hysterics won’t help anything.
Strength.
crossing the river
Today was a fine day for an adventure. A ferry adventure! 
River and I headed over to the state park to enjoy this lovely day, and on the way, I noticed signs for the small cable ferry that run across the Willamette river. We decided to head over there and take a ride, just for fun. It was great!
We are watching the cars unload, waiting for our turn to get on.
Oregon is so beautiful!
We are on board here, as pedestrians. River didn’t want to drive on because he thought our car might fall of the ferry. I enjoyed walking on, though. We could enjoy the breeze and get a better view of the water.
After one round trip across the river and back, we headed to the state park, as planned. Squirrel heaven, let me just tell you. They are everywhere, all over. Here is a little pile we gathered for a cute picture (which River took):
Don’t they look pretty magical?
Of course, River insisted on bringing his balls. Here is the obligatory soccer picture:
Before we headed home, we had to go ride the ferry a few more times. In all, we took 3 round trips on foot. While there is a part of me that is very nervous being on such a (heavy) boat over water, knowing it isn’t too deep made it a bit better. I love bodies of water so, so much, but I also have an intense dread of somehow falling in and drowning. I used to go swimming int he ocean frequently as a teenager. When I was 16, I got caught in the undercurrent, though, and for a minute, I felt like I was drowning until someone managed to get to me and I held on to their boogie board. I still carry that choking fear, I guess. At this point, the thought of being on a boat on the ocean (or any deep body of water) makes my physically ache with dread. Flowing water has always been somewhat of a fascination for me, its purpose and power. Everyone recognizes the power of fire. But, I don’t think that water is universally seen as something that has such a strong force. It is vital for life, but it can sweep life away in one small swoop. Let us not forget that it is water that calms the fire.
Ok, back to the present. Here are a few more pictures. The last one is of some canoes we saw that passed by us. There were about 5 or 6 of them. I didn’t think of taking a picture until they were rather far away.
моя семья
My (Russian) family, at the Black Sea celebrating Papa’s birthday earlier this year: (Papa, Oksana, Mama and Marik).
Oksana with her husband, Ilya:
Yay!!!
Success!
We have had a busy couple of days, and I haven’t had a chance until now to sit and update…and the only reason I am doing so, is because I am really too excited to sleep right now. My Russian sister finally wrote me back tonight! I would love to post their picture, but I should ask for permission first. But, wow! I can’t believe it! This is huge deal in my life…I cannot wait until I can go and visit.
Aside from that life-changing news….River and I went to the beach a few days ago. It was so fun! Of course, it got gray and cold about 10 miles from the beach, but that is ok. It is Oregon after all. The sun poked out her head a few times while we played in the little River that ran into the ocean.
I finally got my camera cord. Well, I guess I should say that I know have two! I bought a replacement for the missing one earlier this week. Of course, the day after, I found the original one under a pile of papers waiting to be filed. Ah, yes. My life is like that. Now I have 2, though.
Tomorrow I am going to attempt a ‘day in the life’ photo journal. It won’t be packed full of photos, but I want a few to make up for the lack of things to look at on this blog lately.
Just to break the dry spell, here are 2 photos…..
What is directly in front of me right now:
And, directly to my left:
(he fell asleep on the floor (finally!) and I don’t want to disturb him until I go to sleep, which is any moment).
Exciting update!
I have spent a few hours in the last day doing all sorts of internet searching for ANY information I could find about my host family. I was even just looking for someone who lived in Timashevsk and spoke English an d may have remembered me or knew my family.
During my searches, I came across some business (I don’t remember what it was) and their contact for exports was a woman who, it stated, lived in Timashevsk. This was all written in English, so it gave me hope that she would be bilingual.
I sent an email to here, not really expecting much.
Dear Olga,I don’t know if you will be able to help me. This is a
personal matter, not business related. Did you live in
Timashevsk in 1997? I am American and lived as an
exchange student in Timashevsk in 1997. I was 16 at the
time. The family I lived with were Galina and Anatolia
******, they had a daughter by the name of Oksana, also
16 at the time. Do you happen to know anything about
them? I remember that Galina used to the director of a
kindergarten in Timashevask. I lost touch with them many
years ago, and want very much to find them again.
Thanks for any help you can offer.
She replied tonight (less than 24 hours later!):
OK!
I know this family.
My daughter went right to this kindergarten. I shall
contact with Galina and answer you (send e-mail).All the best!
Olga
I don’t think I can put into words how excited I feel.
What would life be life without the internet? Seriously?
My motherland
10 years ago last month, I was on a plane crossing the Atlantic Ocean for the first time. I was headed to a little town by the name of Timashevsk in the great country of Russia. I had no idea what was in store for me. This was before the wide-spread access to Internet. In 1997, I believe we had a computer, but I don’t think we had Internet yet. Anyhow, all I knew about where I was headed was the address that was written on the piece of paper that had been mailed to me. I was set out for a 6 month trip as an exchange student. I was 16. I had never taken a class in Russian. I taught myself the alphabet, numbers 1-10 and how to say ‘My name is …..” while en route on the airplane. That was all I knew.
There were 6 of us Americans traveling to Russia with YFU. Three females, three males. I was coming from California, another from Massachusetts, Louisiana, Michigan, Maryland, and I can’t remember where the last girl was from. Oh well. Not important. Point being: we were quite a diverse group. While on the plane, we all compared to which addresses we were headed. I was the only one going to Timashevsk (a small, rural town near the Black Sea region of Russia). All the others were going to Krasnodar, a much bigger city about half an hour away from Timashevsk. As it turned out, one of the other girls did end up being in Timashevsk near me! Her families changed last minute. That was a simple twist of fate that I am grateful for. She ended up becoming a very good friend of mine (and we recently reconnected after 9 years!) and I think my stay in Russia wouldn’t have been what it was if she weren’t a part of it.
I absolutely loved my time in Russia. I lived with a host family: Galina (the mother), Anatolia (the father), Oksana (daughter; she was my age) and Marek (son; he was 8 or 9). I could write many many posts just about each of them, but I will try to keep this short(ish). I recall feeling very homesick about 2 months into it. I remember just aching to hear English, for anything American. I cried often. There must have been something about this breakdown, because I think it was soon after that that the language soon became much easier for me to jump around in. I even began having dreams in Russian near the end of my trip. My host-father, just before I left, told me that he thought if I could just stay another 3 months, that I would be fully fluent. I was really that close. (Of course, now, all of that is deep in my brain somewhere…my Russian is so poor now).
When we left Russia, I cried and cried. I didn’t want to come home. Once back home, I felt more homesick for Russia than I had felt for the US while in Russia. I listened to the Russian music I had brought home constantly. I wrote letters (in Russian) to friends in Russia. I reveled in sharing my memories with everyone who asked. I had a very hard time integrating back into high school. The normal high school concerns (homework, gossip, proms, GPAs) just seemed so freaking petty. Who cares? My perspective on life was totally changed. I felt like a foreigner. Truly! I had no idea this would happen. Luckily, one of my good friends back home was Russian (from Azerbaijan), so I could go to her house and hear the language, eat the foods, enjoy the customs that all made me feel more at home. My biggest regret was that I eventually lost touch with my host family. It was a stupid teenage thing.
When I lived in Russia, I felt more at home than I have anywhere else I have ever lived, including now. I don’t particularly care for the government, but I was oblivious to that when I lived there. All I knew was that I felt/feel Russian. Simple as that.
I am thinking about when to plan a trip back. I want to take my family with me, so it will be a few years to save up enough money for the trip. But, it will happen. It has to happen. To start with, I have begun my search for my host family. I have their last name, but there is very, very little about Timashevsk online. I can imagine many people there still don’t have Internet. However, on a whim, I googled my name along with the name of the town. I got 5 results. One of them was a link to a search ad that my host sister posted on the Internet 2 years ago. She was looking for me. Oh. My heart lept! Wow.
I really hope her email hasn’t changed in the last 2 years. Time will tell. I hope I get a response to the message I sent her.
Russia.
Fleas and laundromats
Our poor cat, Athena, is full of fleas. She has quite a bit of white on her, so we can even see the fleas crawling around. She has looked like such an unhappy cat, lately. I would be if I were her, that is for sure! I tried a natural flea treatment that I found in the store, made of essential oils. I tried 2 rounds of it, to give it time to work. Nothing. In fact, it seems to have gotten worse. I seriously detest using the chemical flea treatment, but I felt like I had no choice. We were finding fleas all over the house, even with our wood floors throughout. They seem to especially enjoy Walter’s blood. They never seem to bite me. So gross, though.
So, today, I finally went and bought the chemical stuff. It is times like these that I ponder making her an inside cat again, but I think she would become seriously depressed. She just loves to roll in the dirt outside so very much, and nap in the sun on the concrete where it is nice and hot.
I still don’t feel particularly good about using that junk, but it is what it is.
We also took a trip to the laundromat to wash our big king-size comforter. It has been sitting in a pile since summer started, waiting for me to go and wash it, but I kept putting it off, thinking it was too hot to need it anyways. Well, last night was the first night that I actually felt was pretty chilly. Not enough to warrant turning on the heater or anything, but it is time to get our nice and warm blanket ready to go. So, we headed out to find a super big washing machine. $4.00 per load in the commercial washers! I had no idea! I just barely had enough quarters to start the wash, and then had to run home to get a few more for the dryer. River had fun hanging out in the laundromat, though. There were 2 toddlers, maybe 18 months old or so, there with their moms, and it was so mind boggling to me to sit back and really see what a BIG kid River has become. And, he will only get bigger! He really amazes me everyday. Days like today, I can really feel my uterus aching for another baby.
So true
To add on to my last post’s subject, I got a little gift today. I opened up my journal (which I haven’t opened in well over a year) to write about some things going on currently (maybe I will talk here about them at some point). It was a gift from a friend, and is a Zen style journal, with different sayings printed throughout the book. I went to the 1st blank page available to begin my scribbling. Guess what the quote was?
“Contentment
Rejoyce in whatever life gives you. Crave nothing else. Know that whatever you have been given is for your own highest good.”
Just what I need to hear these days.
