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Is that the sun I see?

I have been in a general funk lately. Really, for the past month. I have been worrying and stressed about EVERYTHING you could imagine. I am generally a pretty laid back person, not letting everyday stresses get to me, and overall calm in the face of chaos.

Well, I don’t know what has happened. I feel like my whole center has been jolted off course. I can’t seem to unwind. Lately, the world has seemed to me a never-ending line of stressers, one after the other.

I recognize that life has always been like this, but I have suddenly felt incapacitated to handle any of it.

Today, finally, I feel like the clouds are lifting. I am not so sure what has changed. Maybe it was finally going today to chat with a friend that is going through a lot of what I am right now. Maybe it is finding a good childcare person for my son (Thank you!!!!). Maybe it is finally having my first day of prenatals scheduled and written in my daybook (as in, this IS really going to happen). Maybe it was the yoga I did last night (which I haven’t done for months!!).

I don’t know. All I know is that today, I feel like I can really do this, I can really handle life, without having a breakdown. That I will NEVER get ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ is at the moment) 100% done, that it is impossible to do everything all the time…and THAT’S OK! It sure does feel nice to breathe easier now.

Maybe it is the fact that the sun REALLY is out today! It is so beautiful outside, sunny, blue skies, breezy. Gorgeous!

Anyway I look at it, the clouds are gone.

2 responses »

  1. I see, you are a “cluster” writer. lol My advice(you don’t have to take it)is to enjoy yourself, only do what you want to do and set you own wheels in motion. That’s it, it’s simple and very relaxing.

  2. i am so glad you are de-funking and “seeing” and seeing the sun. getting care for river must be such a relief, i myself have been there and more than likely will be there again. i can’t wait to hear about your midwifery work.


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