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Any ideas?

So, I have realized that I really need to make some friends locally. I am feeling very isolated on the days when I stay home (when there are no prenatals scheduled), and want to be able to chat with other mamas occasionally.

The thing that makes it hard, I guess, is that I am not a very out-going person. When I meet new people, I probably even come off as being cold. I have a hard time opening up to new people. For this reason, when I go to a group of moms, I have a hard time making a connection to anyone, and usually the people I end up befriending take the initiative to get our friendship going. I guess I feel rather self-conscious in many ways, thinking about how other people perceive me, feeling rather dull and boring with not much to say. W. laughs when I tell him this, because he says that when I am with him, I can’t stay quiet for 15 minutes (unless I am sleeping 🙂 ).

The whole friendship this has always been something that I have struggled with. Sure, I had friends while growing up in school. But it always took me such a long time to weld those friendship bonds. My oldest friend and I have been friends since the 8th grade, and we were very, very close through high school. We still talk occasionally, but we are walking down such totally opposite paths, that it is hard to even have much of a conversation these days. I still love her and care about her, and if we were to never talk to her again, I would still feel that way. And, honestly, I think that the time is approaching where we drift our own separate ways, maybe to reconnect 10 years from now when we can relate to one another more. She is single, goes out to parties and bars almost every night, drinks a lot (she is Russian, so when I say she drinks a lot, that is putting it lightly!). It seems like she is so very jaded by life at this point in her life. I love her very much, like my sister, and I wish that we could be closer right now, both physically and mentally. But, she has her path to walk and I have mine.

Well, that was quite a side-track. But, relevant. The point being, I would like (love?) to make some friends with whom we can relate to one another. Of course, we will have our differences, that is what makes a friendship fun! I really dearly miss my friends that I left behind when we moved (you know who you are!). But, I think that it would be very good for me to meet some people locally, you know?

The only mama function that I have been to was the local knitting group. I went once about a month ago. It is on a weekday evening, and something has always come up to keep me from going again. Very frustrating! Sooooo, I am trying to think of OTHER ways to meet fellow mamas. There is no La Leche League here, so that option is out. I looked on the meetup.com website, and there are no local moms groups here either. So, any ideas anyone?

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2 responses »

  1. We ~*luv*~ ya and we’re not so far away. Maybe you will make some connections with these families that you are serving…? And you have some adjusting to do being that the climate in your new local is completely different from the one you left.

    When you are ready to go camping let’s get something planned all of us and meet midway…

    Reply
  2. (((Hugs))) I was thinking that too, maybe in your midwifery path you will meet some mamas. It is tough making the first move, I don’t do that myself very often but I have pushed myself out there in the past. I think we are a lot a like in that way. I have always been intrigued with the MDC gatherings, it seems like there is usually an Oregon one…I wonder? Is there a MDC playgroup in Salem? maybe you could start one? Once upon a time I started a women’s spirituality group (to learn)-this was online, but local, and I still have a couple of those friends to this day, even though our current paths are not the same as they once were. I can’t remember if you are homeschooling River (when the time comes:)) but many of those groups are friendly, and at least in my experience there are those of toddler-age too.
    Feel free to call me anytime if you wanna chat! And I want to visit sometime soon!

    Reply

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